I Hate Pacifiers...

Yes, it's really all in the title.


I hate, abhor, detest pacifiers.


Who ever came up with the word "binky" for a freakin' pacifier anyway??? I have never called a pacifier a "binky" and to be honest I refuse to. It's almost a pet peeve when I hear people say, "Do you want your 'binky'?" No. It's a pacifier. Pa-ci-fi-errrrrrrrrrr. When I hear "binky", it's like when my nieces were first learning to talk and that's what they called their "blanket" because they couldn't pronounce "blanket" so instead referred to it as "binky". Not pacifier.

If people want me to shorten the word "pacifier" or abbreviate it in anyway, (because you know four syllables is definitely waaaaaaaaaaaaay too long apparently) I'll say "paci". Why? Because it's a PACIFIER. You use it to PACIFY a baby. I don't give a "binky" to my child to "bink" him in any way shape or form.


Now, back to why I hate this tiny plastic object. "Babies have a natural sucking reflex when they are born." You are correct, sir! Buuuuuuut... babies are ALSO creatures of habit and do NOT like change. I mean -at al. Nada. Zip. Zero. Zilch.


So here is this baby. A creature of absolute comfort. And his "pacifier" brings him lots of comfort. I mean oodles and oodles of comfort. Awww. Sweetness. Now... try to take that pacifier away... and that sweetness automatically turns... well... sour.


And I fully blame the Soothie pacifiers. As much as I hate it, I acknowledge that it is the best freakin' pacifier ever. Why? Well, that was the pacifier they gave him at the hospital he was born in. It's like the epitome of pacifiers that doctors and nurses nation wide swear by it and parents have to then buy it because their kids want it. So when we got home, he refused ALL other pacifiers and only accepted the Soothie one. Well, I had no clue that I could buy those pacifiers at Wal-mart. So here I was thinking this was the only pacifier he would take and I had no clue where to get more. Now what happens? He loses it. Seeing as I had no clue where to buy more, I order it online and have it expressed to the house. For those 2 days, my son threw a perpetual fit, refusing any other pacifier, wanting only that stupid Soothie one. Then the very day they arrived, I find out they sold it at Wal-mart. Go figure.

But honestly... a pacifier for a baby can be like crack to an adult. It's baby crack. Why???? It can be soooooooooooooooooooooo darn addictive! My son refuses to go to sleep without it. Try putting him down for a nap without his Soothie pacifier. Damn that pacifier, it had to be sooo good. He'll thrash and thrash and search and search. I mean with the pacifier, he'll fall asleep within 15 minutes. Without the pacifier it'll take at least a full hour of hearing him cry until he is so exhausted he finally just falls asleep. Soooooooooooo, to try and break the habit of the pacifier aka "baby crack" we had to go cold turkey.

All I have to say is this. Damn that pacifier and damn you Soothie!!!