welcome to the simple complexities of my mind...

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Stupid Quotes By Stupid (Opps... I Mean Intelligently Challenged) Consumers...

Ok... I've been meaning to do this for awhile... But now I've finally had the determination to finally put it up...

Honestly... it's great when people go into a bookstore in search for a book that opens their minds and makes them more interested in reading. But I have come to the conclusion that there are definitely people out there who really need to stay as far away from bookstores as possible.

Example 1:

Consumer: Hi. I'm looking for a book. I don't know the name of the author or the name of the book...

Associate: Do you know what the book is about?

Consumer: Actually I don't know if it even exists... I had a dream about it...

Associates: ...

(Cuz everyone knows we associates are psyhic and can figure out the title or author without any clues what's so ever.)

Example 2:

Consumer: Where is your non-fiction section?

Me: Everywhere but that corner of the store.

Consumer: Why? What's in that corner?

Me: Uh, fiction...

Example 3:

Consumer: I'm looking for this book.

Me: It's on our bestsellers, right behind you. In fact it's #1 this week.

Consumer: Where?

Me: Right behind you. Under #1.

Consumer: Where?

Me: (Walks right behind the customer. Taps the book right behind his head.) Right. Behind. You. Number. One.

Example 4:
Consumer: How much is my total?
(I give him his total.)
Consumer: Really? That much? Can you give me your employee discount?
Me: No, sir, I'm sorry but I can't do that.
Consumer: Are you serious? But I'm in a wheelchair?
Me: I'm sorry sir, but I am not authorized to just give out random discounts to anyone who wants them.
Consumer: But I'm in a wheelchair...
Me: Yes, I can see that quite clearly.
Example 5:
Consumer: Now I'm looking for books 4 and 5 in the series. Which one would those be?
Me: These two right here.
Consumer: How did you figure that out?
Me: It says it on the front and side of the book. Book 4 and Book 5.
Example 6:
Customers can never find a specific section in the store. That section oddly enough is the Travel Section. So I urge you all to find the travel section of your local bookstore. Because if you listened to our customers, it's as if we move the travel section of the store every week.
Consumer: Where's your travel section?
Me: Right by the giftcards.
Consumer: You guys always change your store. Last week it was over in the corner wasn't it?
Me: No. It's always been there.
Consumer: Now I shop here often. It wasn't always there!
Me: It's been there since last August and it hasn't moved yet.
Example 7:
Consumer: I don't know the name or the author but it was on the Oprah show the other day. You must know what it is...
Me: I'm sorry, but I don't watch Oprah.
Consumer: But you work at a bookstore... you have to watch Oprah.
Me: I'm sorry ma'am but watching Oprah isn't anywhere in my job description.
Consumer: But she promotes plenty of books...
Me: And we sell all of them.
Consumer: Is there a place in the store for where the books she promotes are??
Me: No. I'm sorry there isn't.
Consumer: Well, there should be...
Me: I'll be sure to tell corporate that ma'am.
Consumer: You do that... what kind of a bookstore doesn't have an area where Oprah's books are?


Sunday, May 06, 2007

It Moved!

Ok... so, I'm at the verge of ending my third month.

I have thus fair only gained 4 pounds. However due to the fact that I got the stomach flu last weekend, I lost 2 of those 4 pounds that I gained. So I'm down to just 2 pounds of actual weight gain. (Stupid stomach flu... it was only supposed to be a 24 hour bug... who suffers froma 24 hour bug for 4 freakin days????????)

They said that you don't always hear the heartbeat until the 3rd month, but we heard the baby's heartbeat in our first ultrasound when I was just in my 7th week.

Technically I'm in the middle of my 11th week right now (end of 3rd month and first trimester). People don't usually feel movements in the womb until sometime in the fourth month. But we felt the baby move yesterday. I was holding onto my belly yesterday wondering what the heck is going on in my uterus that I was feeling uncomfortable, and I felt the slightest, tiniest tap. I was so freakin' excited I told my husband I felt the baby move and he thought I was just teasing him (like he thought when I first told him I was pregnant!) and he put his hand on my belly, right where the womb is, and felt a slight little tap tap too. We then tried for the next 15 minutes to see if Jr. would give us another tap but to no avail. Seeing as baby is only the size of an apple right now, it decided it was too tired to entertain its parents. The lazy bum...

But anyway, I don't know if I shared this or not, but the baby's due November 22, 2007. (Of course that's the estimated due date so who knows.) But that's also Thanksgiving day.

And ***No... I will never get my child a turkey shaped cake. Talk about tackey. Egh...